Another one of the test scenes written for Dodger's leg in Sidekicks. This one didn't stick either. It also might take place in the zombie apocalypse.
Someone pokes Dodger in the nose. He rolls over, swatting at the disruption. Two sets of feet scramble back.
“Why the hell were you poking it in the nose?”
“Because you refused to get close enough to touch it!”
“It could have bit you, you moron. What do you have the survival instincts of a gnat? I swear to God dude. Poke it in the leg or something. Just because you can't feel it doesn’t mean the rest of us can't.”
“All right, Mal. Thank you again for cutting off my leg. I much prefer being a cyborg to a zombie. Now for God’s sake, stop bringing it up already!”
“Will you two please just shut up?”
Amazingly, they listen. Dodger pushes himself to a sitting position and blinks the scene into focus. It’s Alex Manners and Malcolm Quick, both of them more grungy than Dodger has ever seen them. It takes a second to even place the red-haired guy as Quick, his usual dye job having fallen by the wayside.
There’s also the fact that the real Alex Manners has been dead for a decade.
“The zee just told us to shut up. You heard that, right?”
“I should probably shoot it anyway,” Manners says. “Just to be on the safe side.”
“Simmer down, guys.” Dodger scrambles to his feet. “I’m not a zee. I swear to God.”
“Yeah, yeah because corpses usually just roll over and start talking.” Mal brandishes a shotgun. “Have you been bit?”
“What? No! What the hell is going on? There hasn’t been an uprising in something like forty years. Zombies are extinct.”
The duo exchanges a glance. Then Alex reaches out a hand and guides Mal’s gun down to the floor. “What’s your name?”
Neither Alex nor Mal are in costume. Bu the look of it, no one’s bothered with that for a very long time. He licks his lips, tastes death on the air. “I’m Sam Suzuki.”
Alex goes white. Mal’s eyes bug.
“Did he just--”
“Yeah, I think he did.”
Mal steps forward, shotgun still at the ready. “Sam, I’ve got to tell you that’s the best news we’ve heard in years. But if you’re lying, I’m going to destroy you.”
“Why would I lie?”
Alex ignores the question. We’ve got to get you to Sally and Cat. Preferably without running through the horde.”
“Fly him,” Mal says. “It’s the safest way to go.”
“Except for that leaves you along in the gray zone with a horde of zees. No.”
“Alex, the day I can’t outrun a zee is the day you should stop feeding me and let me die. Get him back to base. I’ll be fine.”